Myths of Legend
by Orange-ge
Summary: Uchiha Madara failed in his attempt to control the Kyuubi. He ended up in the stomach of the great beast over a debate whether the Sage of Six Paths was myth or not. The Kyuubi, bored with the events, took a nap.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the series of Naruto, nor the characters from that series. I own this fanfic and any OC that appear within.

_Kyuubi-less Naruto. When Uchiha Madara initiated his plan to destroy Konoha he hadn't entirely thought everything through. The plan had relied heavily on using the Kyuubi, the strongest of all the Bijuu, to attack the village. He hadn't, however, considered why exactly the Kyuubi was considered the most powerful being (Made purely of chakra or not, the thing was strong) alive. When he tried to use his Sharingan to control the beast another little fact escaped him; namely the very, very true myth that demons were the root of all kekkei Genkai, and not the Sage of the Six Paths. He would, looking on it from the afterlife, be somewhat satisfied that he gave the fox a wicked case of indigestion._

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"Now, Beast, do my bidding..." Uchiha Madara had made it. This was the climax of the story, the peak of action and plot.

There would be _no_ sequel.

He removed his mask to unleash the full power of his ultimate Mangekyou Sharingan, the blood red eyes he had acquired at the death of his brother. His bloodlimit flashed to life and Madara grinned wickedly in the face of the Kyuubi, most powerful of the nine Bijuu. He focused on entering the beasts weak mind and-

Wait. Okay, that was weird... Maybe if he tried it like... no, that doesn't seem to work either...

The Kyuubi blinked and, very slowly, began to smile. It was a rather nasty smile, like the horrid grin of death right before he yanked your soul from your body. Not that death was a bad guy, just that he had a habit of smiling at the most inappropriate times. No, this wasn't a pleasant smile by any means and Madara knew that when he noticed it after his fifth try of Plan A: "Turn brain to mush".

"Oh, crap." he said.

**'OH, CRAP' IS RIGHT, MORTAL, **said the fox, effortlessly blowing away the quotation marks. **DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU COULD CONTROL _ME? _THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL DEMONS?**

Marada considered. "Well, yes, actually," he said.

Kyuubi cackled loudly. It was a sort of roaring laugh that blew the eardrums of every nearby organism that had eardrums and a few trees as well. The fox had to practice often to get that effect. Who else could brag that they could cause _plants_ to go deaf?

**FOOL, IT WAS I WHO CREATED YOUR WRETCHED BLOODLINE! YOU DARE USE IT AGAINST ME!**

"Well, to tell the truth, I thought it was the Sage of the Six Paths."

**Sage... of Six Paths? **Kyuubi raised a furry brow and decided to lay off the capitals.

"Um, Yeah... you've never heard of him?"

**No, perhaps you could enlighten me.**

Madara pretended not to hear the obvious sarcasm in the fox's voice and began the surprisingly short tale of the Sage of Six Paths. He hoped it would at least entertain the fox and that it would decide not to eat him. That would totally ruin his plans.

**Okay, so let me get this straight. Some human was born with this super powerful kekkei genkai and he became the first ninja. **Madara nodded. **This human also was powerful enough to somehow seal a ten-tailed demon within himself without dying. **Another nod. **And upon his death, he split the demons power into us nine bijuu and sealed the demon itself into the moon? **

Madara hesitated. "Right..."

The Kyuubi was silent for a moment, it's tails swaying lazily behind it, casually wiping thousands of woodland animals from existence.

**Well, **said the fox. **That was rather... interesting to say the least. Who, did you say, told you all of this?**

"Well, I don't really remember, truthfully." Madara mumbled and scratched his head. "I don't think anyone actually told me..."

**A book?**

"Huh?"

**Did you read it in a book?**

The Uchiha blinked in confusion. "Wait, how do you know about books? You're a giant fox."

Said fox narrowed his giant eyes and growled, **Pardon?**

Madara made vague gestures with his hands. "I mean, would you even be able to pick up a book much less read such small print?" he dropped his hands in defeat. He had never been very good at charades.

**I'm the Nine-tails, the most powerful of Bijuu, the closest damn thing to a god around, and a freaking Kitsune! **The fox flexed it's massive reserves of demonic chakra, knocking the human clear off his feet. **I'm pretty sure, **it continued, settling down, **transforming into a human to mingle a bit wouldn't be too difficult.**

"O-oh, I see." Madara muttered under his breath and wiped the dirt from his clothes.

**So?**

"So?"

**Did you read it in a book?** the fox asked in a strained voice.

"Book? What- oh, oh!" Madara shifted his feet under the beast's oppressive glare. "I... I'm not sure. Maybe."

**Maybe? Think hard, human, was it a book?**

Madara scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Er.. yes, I think it was a book. Why?"

**Do you remember the author? I mean, anyone can write a book, _I_ can write a book.**

"The author? Never really found out, the book was really old. Do you think the Sage wrote it himself?"

**It's possible. A lot of beings seek fame and many of them lie to get it.**

"What makes you think this is the same? It could just as easily be true." Madara countered.

**It could. If I wasn't a bijuu and was just some random joker of the street. Don't you think I would remember being split off from some all powerful super Bijuu?**

"Well... it was a long time ago."

**A long time this supposedly true book has miraculously survived. Possibly written about a dead guy by the same dead guy.**

"So you are saying the Sage was some jerk who wrote a book to get famous, that the Juubi didn't exist, and that you have a memory that spans centuries?" Madara crossed his arms. "I find that hard to believe."

The Kyuubi gave what could be a shrug or a mild case of demonic turrets. **You believed some bunk about a super human who single-handedly beat this super bijuu. Tell me, aside from this book what other proof do you have of this Sage's exploits?**

Madara thought for a moment. "Well, nothing else, really..." He frowned. He couldn't have been wrong this whole time could he?

**Exactly. I, despite your skepticism, can remember when I was born in the fiery bowls of the deepest levels of hell. I even remember what I got on my third birthday.** the fox said, grinning at the memory.

"What did you get?"

**Rabbits. **Kyuubi licked at his rows of incredibly sharp teeth. **Thousands upon thousands of rabbits.**

"Oh..." said Madara.

**Which reminds me, I'm really very hungry.**

"Oh..." said Madara.

The giant fox looked down at the puny human that had awoke him from his slumber (In the middle of a pleasant dream) only to have his beliefs, very thoroughly, crushed. **Well, whatever it was that you came here for has failed. **With noticeable effort the fox lifted itself up to tower over the shinobi before it. **It was actually rather nice chatting with you, I haven't crushed the dreams of anyone in a long time.**

Madara had seen this coming the moment his Sharingan refused to work on the bijuu. He hadn't seen the destruction of his plan happening so early, or at all as a matter for fact, though. Oh, well, he thought, you win some you lose some.

**Anyway, **the Kyuubi continued, oblivious to the human's internal dialogue, **I'm going to eat you now. Goodbye.**

In his peripheral vision, Madara caught sight of a scythe-wielding skeleton waving at him just before things went dark.

It was grinning.

_xxx_

In Konoha, the people celebrated the birth of the Yondaime's son.

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_Revised to a one-shot.  
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End file.
